Thursday, September 3, 2009

I was sad but now im Okay... Plus Updates!!




Hmmm… so im updating after a very long time. The time ive spent in the last few days or rather a week was pretty tough… extremely sad and difficult. I didn’t want to update my blog cz I did not want it to become unhappy again. So whatever I went through I went through alone… and for once I did not let it out, not just on my blog but to anyone.

I ignored even the closest people and hugely disappointed them… and right now im going to say Sorry… sorry for ignoring and not sharing what I was going through. But I know they all understand and know me well enough, I know they aren’t angry with me anymore… love u all… <3

The reasons for my depression and sadness and tension were two… a. my bad result and b. fakes departure. Both of the incidents took place in the same week one after the other and left me… well you can imagine now… sad.


Well now I won’t drag the two topics anymore and I won’t make my blog sad… im all better now… with hopes in my heart that fake will visit us again and as for the result ill work harder… much much harder next time and get a very good result, InshALLAH. I just pray that God helps me and im sure He will…


Cuming to nowadays…

Ramadan is here and today is the 13th roza… im fasting MashAllah. The first few were really hard for everyone because of the summer heat… I was literally dying with thirst, hunger was not a problem… then Thanks To Allah… the weather became pleasant and it RAINED like anything… yeah well the city was swimming and the usual electricity, phone and cable went off, but the fasts became easier… I wasn’t that thirsty like I was in the beginning of the month and again the speed of time surprises me… almost half of the ramazan is gone!! The rest im sure will pass easily. I hope the weather remains the same.

Few of my worries include that I still haven’t done my eid shopping… I DON’T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE NEW DRESS… I have to go and get a long shirt of thread work on it… I want it so badly… but my mama is so busy that every time we get ready to go an emergency case comes her way and instead of going to the bazaar she heads her way to her clinic… =(

In moments like these I wish that Kaaaaassshhh!! Meri bi aik Bari Behan hoti… (I wish for an elder sister). She would have taken me shopping, designed my dresses and pampered me like apya does for hafloo… =( sob sob…

Neways… all our wishes cant come true and apya does care for me too like hafloo… she will help me with my annual dinner stuff…yayie!! I lub dub you apya!! =) and yeah the annual dinner preparations have come to a stop cz of the Ramadan, and they will continue after eid… the date is 11th October and the venue is some place called Royale sumthing…

And yeah my birthday is cuming up… 6th ^^…ill be 19!! And ill start my last year of teenage… well I dun know what was so special about it CZ my parents and friends believe that im still a 12 year old… lol… and yess.. I enjoy being that… =D

In the end of this post…

I wish belated birthdays to my frnds, Reebie, Bee, Hafloo, Nida F and all the other august Virgos… Happy Birthdays to You All!! May you have many more!!

And a special mention for apya and hafloo and JB…

Can’t wait to see you guys, I hope inshallah on Eid day we all will meet and seat and eat!! Wow… rhyming =P


And I special mention for Fake…

Fake… I really veally miss you a lot… we had such a great time from our first to last chocolate, from our first to the last ludo game… but I know we will get a chance like this again and then too we will make the most of it… Thank you for cuming… Bless you!!


And to all the readers… keep reading… and take care for now!! Remember me in your prayers and Happy Ramadan to all of you!!

=^^=

Bye!



Monday, August 17, 2009

Making Lifetime Memories!!


this is one poem i wrote when i was in class 3 i guess... when the only rhymes i knew were sad bad dad etc... but this is really special to me... it was one of my first poems... may be it was the first... im not sure... neways her goes...

when i feel sad
when i feel bad

i remember my old memories

i surround myself in pleasure
like i find treasure

when i remember my old memories

there was sumthing ahead as well but i dun remember it right now... i wrote it in sum old diary but i cant find it now... ill definately post it when i do... neways it was about my memories... and the reason i remembered it today was cz im making some lovely ones now adays.

for the start... I STOPPED FAKE FROM GOING BACK!!

yeah he had a confirmed ticket for last sat... but i made him stay here for another week... it was awesum... im so happy... i would not be today if he went away dat day...

^^

went to college last week... annual dinner prep have started and v planned to do sum really hilarious and lame drama... but the idea got rejected and now rindy is asking me to do a really cute song... to sing it... (and make people run away from the hall =P) ah well.. lets c... its so damn cute... we will look like kindergarden kids singing it... but nevertheless it will be an experience of a lyftime for sure... more memories...

there are so many groups set up for diff purposes... drama, singing, awards, menu, venue, etc etc. im in the drama one... actually on the behind the cam part... Hb is acting... doing sum old hindi movie parody... i bet it will me funny...

apya's got to decide my annual dinner dress... hmm... wat else... well ill go to uni tomorrow to c hows everything going... if the city conditions are fine... =S karachi bhi na bs...

newys thats all for now..

tc

=^^=






Thursday, August 13, 2009

Imma Happy Person!! =)


Finally a great day for my bloggie…

IM HAPPY!!!


Im having so much fun nowadays… the previous post was written a long tym back, I posted it previously so dun think that I wasn’t happy a few moments back. This change of me from the sad me to happy me came on finally.



Like you all know, my best friend Fake and my nano is here. So we are having a blast… having so many outing, going so many places, living life to the fullest.


Arena was awesum though I didn’t even get a spare once in bowling… nor did I hit Fake like I wanted to in the paintball… =P, So was Sunway lagoon… I went veeeeeeeeeeeeee on the longesssssst slide… turned into complete water freak… missed Rindy and my beach peeps. I didn’t go to go aish… but my bro and fake did… and they had the most wow time there… how can I miss the dow trip… showing fake the museum and making him feel disgusted, the silver spoon rolls…yum yum… dolmen, millennium, The factory outlets… the Levis store (for details see the next post =)… shopping for our bhanji, bhabi and Anni Baji and others, getting him to buy the kurta he loved and the cool crossroads jeans and park towers and there showing fake the views he loved… =P LOL…


See… im having so much of fun… then the most amazing 6 hours at appya’s place… the bestest warmest people ive ever met (glad to have you guys in my life)… played snap and ono… didn’t do that much gossip… =P… had the YUMMIEST pizza and pasta… OMG… im still craving for it…

All in all im having the time of my life… just as I planned… talking, being a part of the NEW secret, teasing him, playing ludo and beating fake, not letting him win even once…hahaha… playing cards and plants and zombies and world of goo…having gol gappays, chocolates, playing soul caliber on ps..(having chocs), going for walks and eating ice creams…



The sad part is that all this will end this Saturday… cz Fakes goin back… hey dude… ill miss you a lot… but the gud thing is u came and we did every single thing we thought we would do… xcept ur wish of making me fall off my bed while im sleeping…poor you!! And one thing more, but fingers crossed we will do that too… =D


But right now im avoiding the thought of Saturday 8.00pm, the time fake will leave for God knows how long… Fakes saying that ill cry but I dun feel like crying cz Im having such an awesum time… I dun regret it… then why should I cry?? I did last time… well I am a cry baby sometimes but this time I dun feel like crying… I just want to say goodbye with a happy smiling face, thank Fake for cuming and making these holidays so memorable for me… =D


And well… right now we are in one of our usual little fights… ill go and throw water on him and make him wake up… and tell him… hey Mr.DJ pon de replay!! Just 2 days to go… dun spoil them!!


Ill miss my best friend a lot!!

=D


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pissed....



This is sumthing u all may hav experienced. And as im going through it now I cant contain it in me any longer. And since this is the only place I can let it out… well that’s what im doin.

The thing is im hating my life rite now. Its like when im pissed or sad or furious I feel rotten inside. Yeah like rotten tomatoes or bread with fungus and wild mushrooms, more like a swamp. Rindy and dum dum tried their best to help me out…. But im just so pissed.

U know being furious is not the hard part, the hard part is that u can’t let it out. When u hav to keep that smiling face so others who are not responsible for your rotten-ness dun feel bad.

And when the “reasons for the rotten-ness” cum in front of you… the way they act smart and innocent…. I just want to strangle them to death.




Yeah smiling on the outside…. Rotten on the inside. Im sure ur familiar with this feeling. Face book was so right when it told me today that the picture of my mind is actually a lala land but right now my lala land is being attacked by zombies. And they are making me feel like a zombie too… lifeless scary hopeless and angry.

If I hav to rate my anger and mood on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being happy… then ill be at -ve100. I just want you to know how m feeling.

My blog is so unlucky nowadays… its getting all the sad posts. My once upon a time happy bloggie is now so much like a zombie bloggie… incase ur wondering why are all the zombies cuming from them let me tell you that the only thing which kept me bz today was this game called plants and zombies. Its so addictive. Do surf and find it… Rindy dun worry ill give it to you on my USB… u’ll simply love it. =)

Neways dads calling, I better go and ask him whats up… I hardly gave time to anyone today… well there was no one to give time to… haha.

I hope I make my blog happy again soon… =S


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sharing... NO WAY!! =(


All my life Ive learned heard and thought that sharing is a damn good deed and when we do it we feel really good. But to tell you the truth sharing is not my thing, I just can’t give my possessions, my things to others, I just can’t. They are mine not anyone else’s.


When I was a kid, (well now u may find it hard to believe that I am not a kid now =P) I found it very hard to lend my favorite eraser or a pencil even to my best friends. I would get them new ones instead, but I really couldn’t give those which were mine, to them. And now with age this attachment with things and now with people is getting so intense that I get worried some times… what is I loose them… that’s my greatest fear.


The thing is I fall in love with everything that’s mine even if it’s just a piece o paper. I hav very old memories hidden in my closet, papers, cards and wrappers, things I cant loose, things which are really important to me even if looks like crap to others.


Neways the reason im writing this post is that im pissed. Looks like ill hav to share sumthing permanently now, my friends. I mean im sharing them right now and I think m doing a good job but gradually and slowly all of them are meeting people they are getting more close to... Im scared. I dun wanna b alone. I won’t hav anyone and they will all leave me.


Can u imagine how m feeling right now? Imagine then, a girl who in nursery kept a hawk eye on the classmate sitting next to her who borrowed her fav pencil, now has to share people she loves so much, and she can’t even keep an eye on them. =’(


I get very rude with my friends when they talk about “others”. I just want my friends to be mine and I dun wanna stop them from being happy too. I want them to be happy, yes I do, but the thing is I DUN WANNA SHARE!!!


Im such an insecure, rude and selfish friend… and I can’t help it.


=(


I need help.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Embrace the Rain!!!


rain Pictures, Images and Photos



*rain rain dun go away. cum to me every other day. lil coral wants to PLAY*

*dances robot like, egyptian, chicken, bhangra, hip hop and the super HAWT dance*

wondering why?

LOL!!

people my theory exams jjjjuuuuusssstttt finished!! even though i know the ospes are still left bt i cant help it... im just so happy!!

Do YOU know Y??

cz my first year in uni is just cuming to its THE END.... i loved the tafree parts of it!! I LOVE my new friends... I LOVE RAIN... ahem... well that doesnt hav to anything with the uni life xcept it made our anatomy paper delay.... bt ... whatever... I LOVE RAIN!!

When there were only 2 days left in xams the monsoon season finally arrived... following it was all the fun i could possibly hav... i danced like crazy in the rain, took many pictures ate alo walay and palak walay pakoray and biryani and mutton karahi =).. i forgot coffee though =( ... by far it was the rain i enjoyed the MOST... following it of course also was the load-shedding... but well that had to b there aswell, as a reminder that HEY ITS PAKISTAN...


raining Pictures, Images and Photos


I misssed my bloggie sho much ='), but i had to control myself so that i would study... (bloggie was aint goin anywhere... rite... sholie bloggo =P ) blogging takes tym and tym was the one i didnt have cz i started my serious study really late this time... my papers were okay... i dun remember if ever in med ive came home and whopped and jumped that my paper was terrific... those stories ended with my 2nd year. *deep sigh*

neways i just visited rindys blog... it was awesum as always,,, i wonder when n did she ever get the time to write the posts... well shes always full of cute lil surprises... love ya rindy... =*


Im like really happy... my best friend is cuming from out of city to stay with me... and its like 2 or 3 years we hav met and its been years and years he came... lemme remember last tym he came i was in class 6 so that makes 6 or so years... wow... along with him my GRANNY is also cuming.... oh i just lobe and adore her... i tease her so much and im just waiting so ill get a hold of her and bombard her with all the kisses i can and she gets irritated and says "pagal hogai hai ye larki" =D

Pagal... means mad and crazzy... hehe... well thats one comment i hear every now and then from my mom and dad. Well... thats just the way i am!!

neways got to go... ill keep posting now... keep in touch!!