Pissed....

This is sumthing u all may hav experienced. And as im going through it now I cant contain it in me any longer. And since this is the only place I can let it out… well that’s what im doin.

The thing is im hating my life rite now. Its like when im pissed or sad or furious I feel rotten inside. Yeah like rotten tomatoes or bread with fungus and wild mushrooms, more like a swamp. Rindy and dum dum tried their best to help me out…. But im just so pissed.

U know being furious is not the hard part, the hard part is that u can’t let it out. When u hav to keep that smiling face so others who are not responsible for your rotten-ness dun feel bad.

And when the “reasons for the rotten-ness” cum in front of you… the way they act smart and innocent…. I just want to strangle them to death.



Yeah smiling on the outside…. Rotten on the inside. Im sure ur familiar with this feeling. Face book was so right when it told me today that the picture of my mind is actually a lala land but right now my lala land is being attacked by zombies. And they are making me feel like a zombie too… lifeless scary hopeless and angry.

If I hav to rate my anger and mood on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being happy… then ill be at -ve100. I just want you to know how m feeling.

My blog is so unlucky nowadays… its getting all the sad posts. My once upon a time happy bloggie is now so much like a zombie bloggie… incase ur wondering why are all the zombies cuming from them let me tell you that the only thing which kept me bz today was this game called plants and zombies. Its so addictive. Do surf and find it… Rindy dun worry ill give it to you on my USB… u’ll simply love it. =)

Neways dads calling, I better go and ask him whats up… I hardly gave time to anyone today… well there was no one to give time to… haha.

I hope I make my blog happy again soon… =S

Sharing... NO WAY!! =(

All my life Ive learned heard and thought that sharing is a damn good deed and when we do it we feel really good. But to tell you the truth sharing is not my thing, I just can’t give my possessions, my things to others, I just can’t. They are mine not anyone else’s.

When I was a kid, (well now u may find it hard to believe that I am not a kid now =P) I found it very hard to lend my favorite eraser or a pencil even to my best friends. I would get them new ones instead, but I really couldn’t give those which were mine, to them. And now with age this attachment with things and now with people is getting so intense that I get worried some times… what is I loose them… that’s my greatest fear.

The thing is I fall in love with everything that’s mine even if it’s just a piece o paper. I hav very old memories hidden in my closet, papers, cards and wrappers, things I cant loose, things which are really important to me even if looks like crap to others.

Neways the reason im writing this post is that im pissed. Looks like ill hav to share sumthing permanently now, my friends. I mean im sharing them right now and I think m doing a good job but gradually and slowly all of them are meeting people they are getting more close to... Im scared. I dun wanna b alone. I won’t hav anyone and they will all leave me.

Can u imagine how m feeling right now? Imagine then, a girl who in nursery kept a hawk eye on the classmate sitting next to her who borrowed her fav pencil, now has to share people she loves so much, and she can’t even keep an eye on them. =’(

I get very rude with my friends when they talk about “others”. I just want my friends to be mine and I dun wanna stop them from being happy too. I want them to be happy, yes I do, but the thing is I DUN WANNA SHARE!!!

Im such an insecure, rude and selfish friend… and I can’t help it.

=(

I need help.

Embrace the Rain!!!

*rain rain dun go away. cum to me every other day. lil coral wants to PLAY*

*dances robot like, egyptian, chicken, bhangra, hip hop and the super HAWT dance*

wondering why?

LOL!!

people my theory exams jjjjuuuuusssstttt finished!! even though i know the ospes are still left bt i cant help it... im just so happy!!

Do YOU know Y??

cz my first year in uni is just cuming to its THE END.... i loved the tafree parts of it!! I LOVE my new friends... I LOVE RAIN... ahem... well that doesnt hav to anything with the uni life xcept it made our anatomy paper delay.... bt ... whatever... I LOVE RAIN!!

When there were only 2 days left in xams the monsoon season finally arrived... following it was all the fun i could possibly hav... i danced like crazy in the rain, took many pictures ate alo walay and palak walay pakoray and biryani and mutton karahi =).. i forgot coffee though =( ... by far it was the rain i enjoyed the MOST... following it of course also was the load-shedding... but well that had to b there aswell, as a reminder that HEY ITS PAKISTAN...





I misssed my bloggie sho much ='), but i had to control myself so that i would study... (bloggie was aint goin anywhere... rite... sholie bloggo =P ) blogging takes tym and tym was the one i didnt have cz i started my serious study really late this time... my papers were okay... i dun remember if ever in med ive came home and whopped and jumped that my paper was terrific... those stories ended with my 2nd year. *deep sigh*

neways i just visited rindys blog... it was awesum as always,,, i wonder when n did she ever get the time to write the posts... well shes always full of cute lil surprises... love ya rindy... =*


Im like really happy... my best friend is cuming from out of city to stay with me... and its like 2 or 3 years we hav met and its been years and years he came... lemme remember last tym he came i was in class 6 so that makes 6 or so years... wow... along with him my GRANNY is also cuming.... oh i just lobe and adore her... i tease her so much and im just waiting so ill get a hold of her and bombard her with all the kisses i can and she gets irritated and says "pagal hogai hai ye larki" =D

Pagal... means mad and crazzy... hehe... well thats one comment i hear every now and then from my mom and dad. Well... thats just the way i am!!

neways got to go... ill keep posting now... keep in touch!!

Scanning Me!!

Scanning my computer is one thing I do regularly… no matter what happens it’s the first and last thing I do when I start and finish using my laptop or my pc…

Right now, the AVG is running, it’s scanning my pc and 5 warnings have been found till now =(. I like the terms which the scanner uses… warnings, threats, heal, infections, security, cookies… (Yum Yum!)

Ever wondered what would be the results if you scan ur life… what will be the warnings and the threats, and the infections?? Sounds interesting… so here I go exploring the results if I scan my life… let me call the brand of the scanner…hmmm… ill think of a name for it later… and ill name this post by it.. =)

Well… this was the overall result…

Time of starting scan: 4:00pm

Objects Scanned: Too many to count…=P

Viruses Found:

1. Virus Eardrums: This subject is infected with this rare virus which amplifies the subject’s sound quality over a hundred times normal, unnecessarily allowing it to cause damage to others eardrums.
2. Virus Talk: The subject has genetically inherited this virus from both sides of the families to be specific Subject Phopo and Subject Anni Baji. The virus grew so strong that now it is extremely hard to control. Some refer the subject as ultra talkative and others merely are well adapted to it, so now it doesn’t bother them... that’s the way to go!! =P
3. Virus Cupid: The subject finds ways to make people fall in love with each other so that it could see happy feelings around it self, the subject loves the smell of crush and is often referred as the Helpline, cz it’s found extremely useful in such cases.
4. Virus Stomach Twists: The subject is often found roaming around in places where it will have hope to find something to fulfill its stomach requirements. Some of the usual places are near the refrigerator, a chocolate aisle of a supermarket, and the good for nothing college canteen (bt still… =P). etc.
5. Virus Laughter: The subject picks up a laugh when everyone laughs at a lame joke, and the laughter is in itself quite unique. It starts all of a sudden leaving the subject red and breathless… making the subject swing at 180 degrees and then the subject innocently inquires what the joke…was! =S

Above mentioned are only some of the viruses which were found, to know about the rest spent a week with me and let me know.

Threats:

The subject is a no less than a threat itself but some of the threats which could harm the system are as follows:

1. Xams: Every once in six months exams come a threat for the poor subject, scaring it, depressing it, making it leak salt water behind it optical lenses. The poor subject tries to concentrate but finds it very hard. Even then it faces this threat and then prays and begs for prayers.
2. Khafgi: This is the threat of which the subject is most scared of. It can’t see other subjects upset because of itself. It makes it feel guilty and gives it a stomachache. The subject has a tendency to get attach to others very quickly and it literally freaks out, to think that sumone is hurt cz of subject.

Updates required:

1. Vampirism: This feature of the subject is a bit outdated. It needs immediate updating. The updated stamina, strength and ability to overcome laziness will surely help the subject to prepare itself for the exam threat.
2. Grip: This update is required by the subject so that it can overcome its clumsiness and handle things with care and avoid expensive damage.
3. Sugharpan: This update is essential for the subject, since it’s a girl whose teenage will end next year unfortunately, so keeping with the traditions its should know the basics of cooking. The important ones include making roti and salan. =P

End of scan time: 4:46pm

*----End of scan result----*

Well that’s what my scan said… if u like to add more, don’t hesitate, post the viruses u find in me and the updates u want in me in the comment section... =)

I really had fun writing this post… I think ill do this scan once in a while from now on… do try it yourself.

Happy Scanning!!

A Prayer For Peace!

Its said that...

"when life knocks you down at ur knees, just remember that you are then in perfect position to pray".

The conditions our country is in, is a living proof of being knocked down, so i request all my readers and followers to pray for my country. i found this prayer while surfing. Im sharing it on my blog with a hope that everyone will hope the same way. I hope for peace. And i know you do the same.

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace,
where there is hatred, let me sow love,
where there is injury, pardon,
where there is doubt, faith,
where there is despair, hope,
where there is darkness, light,
where there is sadness, joy,
Grant, that may i not so much seek,
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved, as to love,
for it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
That it is dying that we are born to eternal life.

=)

*--------*

In search of a better place!!

After a long and hard struggle exploring different sites and blog templates and learning how to change a template of a blog (thanku rindy...i owe you!) ive finally found one template which i found better than the others... its not completely what i wanted but it did fulfill the most of my requirements such as being black and blue, decent and not so girlish.



Do tell me what do u think about it. =)



Days nowadays are extremely short and i have the same complain with the speed of time. its so fast. i hardly get time to sit and relax... relaxation is what im craving for. not that im extremely busy and im studying my butt off... which i am supposed too and im not =(. its that i really wanna hav some time in which i wouldn't be tensed about my studies.. the weather will be nice.. i wont be sweating like crazy.. i wont have to wake up early in the morning and ill go somewhere with my mom dad... where we will have sum family time. i dunno when will that day cum but im waiting for it... =S



So basically i want a new look... not just for my blog but for my life and not just my life for others as well. I mean we all know the conditions of our city and our country right now. I just found out today about todays 2 blast which took place in the mosque during and right after the namaz-e-jumma today. i was so upset. people are dying without any reason. families are broken in just few seconds and in a place like a mosque... its awful.



The newscaster said that this was the 3rd major blast of this month and its just 12th june today.



Not even a the mid of this month has passed and so many lives are taken away. =( i hope it ends. i hope this country becomes peaceful... i hope this terrorism comes to an end. This darkness, fear and terror within our souls disappears. and we start to live in a happy place.




Dear Allah,
Please let this to an end, i know u do all the things for a reason and the Azab uve sent upon us is to teach us. Please bless all the people who have lost their lives, and give their families the strength to carry on. Please finish this.
(Aameen)

Must.Start.Studying.

hey people... im all low and angry today...

i failed my mid term... well i had a huge laugh about it at first but now its like im realising that how much i have to study from now on...

finally i sat to study today... after 1 hours i realized dat i cant understand anything at all... i hate nuerons and para and sympathetic and ganglions and all that crap...

im so slow to pick things... i cant rattafy and m very sad.

=X =X